Pirates and Fangirls
by LadyBootstrap
Summary: A short humourous PotC script. The title explains it all. Enjoy.


A/N This is a little script about Fangirls who are obsessed with PotC. It's set in an alternate universe where fans and characters co-exist. I wrote this first on another site (Where I was a proud member of Team Bootstrap) and there was another member who wrote more and funnier scripts than this but she'd have to put them online herself. I don't want to plagiarise.

(It's right before the whipping scene and Bill has just realised who Will is. Team Bootstrap (TB) is behind him and are all watching intently. They are all dressed in uniform (T-shirts with TB on them and loads of bootstraps on their boots.) and are all women except for one man in a banana suit (?))

Bo'sun: Five lashes to remind you... to stay on 'em!

'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: No!

Bo'sun: Impeding me in my duties. You'll share the punishment.

'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: I'll take it all.

Davy Jones: Will you now? And what would prompt such an act of charity?

'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: My son. He's my son.

(Everyone is shocked- except for Team Bootstrap who have seen the first movie.)

Davy Jones: Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha! What fortuitous circumstance be this! Five lashes be owed. I believe it is.

(Davy Jones gives Bootstrap the whip.)

'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: No. No, I won't!

All of Team Bootstrap: No you can't! (They start hurling abuse at him)

Davy Jones: Fine so be it- five lashes for the boy and one each for the girls.

(The girls suddenly go quiet)

TB Fangirl no.1: Can I be first?

TB Fangirl no.2: No way! I want to be whipped by Bootstrap first!

TB Fangirl no.3: Do you think he'll let us whip Bootstrap too?

Will: Can I watch?

Davy Jones: BE QUIET!

Maccus: You heard the captain- SHUT UP!

All of Team Bootstrap: Suck-up.

Will: Who are these people anyway?

All of Team Bootstrap: We're Team Bootstrap. We love your father and his adorable starfish.

Will: (Bewildered) Team what?

Koleniko: His fan base. That's what they call themselves.

Will: Eh?

Koleniko: Fan base, a group of fans that support a character and/or actor or inanimate object; they gather en masse on line. (Stops, pauses) Normally.

Will: How come there's no team Will?

Davy Jones: You mean you haven't noticed?

Will: Noticed what?

Davy Jones; That great big ship following you!

Will: Ship..?

(Suddenly a large pirate ship sails by- the flags have Will's face on it and the ship is full of screaming fangirls)

All of Team Will: We love you! Marry me Will!

Will: (sounding pretty pleased with himself) Looks like I've got the most fangirls then.

Jack Sparrow: No that'd be me.

Maccus: what about **my** fangirls?

Koleniko: Fangirl.

Maccus: What?

Koleniko: Never mind.

Will: Well Jack, **I** have a whole ship full of fangirls- where are yours? And how did you get here?

Jack Sparrow: Oh they're here all right.

(Suddenly an entire fleet of ships approaches all named 'Team Jack' all full of screaming fangirls)

Jack Sparrow: Haven't you ever wondered how I get out of so many scrapes? These lass's are obsessed with me, they'd die for me, savvy? And I got here on one 'o' these ships.

Fangirl No.1: So immature.

Fangirl No.2: I know- I mean we're not as obsessed as that.

Davy Jones: You don't call matching uniforms and following his every move obsessed then..?

TB Fangirls:... No...

Maccus: My team is still the best I-

Koleniko: Even Team Picture of a Key has more people than yours.

Maccus: How many teams are there?

Koleniko: Well there's Team Rum, Team Barbossa, Team Bootstrap's Starfish, Team Scarlett, team Gibbs, Team-

Maccus: Well I must have more than them, right?

Koleniko: Err, not really.

Maccus: Well I bet I have more than Team Koleniko.

(Suddenly a team full of coral-wearing girls enter all wearing shirts with Team K on them)

Maccus: This is ridiculous!

TB Fangirl no.1: At least you've got Davy Jones.

Maccus: Why you little...

Jack Sparrow: Anyways I better be going lads- good luck with whatever you're doing.

Davy Jones: Ah yes the whipping. Now Mr. Turner- wait where's Turner jnr gone? And where's me key? And where's Team Will's boat?

TB fangirl no.4: If you're in any way implying that we used the distraction to steal your key and help Will escape on the 'Team Will' ship...

(Davy Jones turns towards the fangirls menacingly)

TB fangirl No.4: You're ummm wrong. Bye.

Davy Jones: Take these girls and their 'idol' to the brig!

Maccus: Aye, Aye Captain!

(In the brig)

'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: Thank you all for helpin' me.

TB fangirl no.1: (Swoons) No problem.

TB fangirl no.2: Hey I just realised something!

TB fangirl no.4: What?

TB fangirl no.2: We're alone, in the brig,

TB fangirl no.1: With bootstrap.

(All the girls (and one boy) smile at each other. I'll leave the next bit up to your imagination)

So that's how Will **really** escaped from the flying Dutchman.


End file.
